I Don't Like Emoticons. But I Love Emotions.

I was looking through one of my notebooks today, and I came across something I wrote last May that I'd like to share. Get out the popcorn, kids, iiitttt'ssss SECRET JOURNAL TIME!!!

"Some nights when I walk home from work, I feel like everything is new--like I'm seeing it for the first time. The trees, the sound of the water in the canal, the sky and stars, the moon, the sound of dirt and rocks beneath my feet--everything seems amplified, and I want the lights to turn off and cars to stop so I can take it all in.

"This might sound strange, but I feel more deeply and passionately when I'm outside by myself, especially at night where there aren't many people around. When I go into the mountains, and become surrounded by nature, my spirit comes alive, and I forget that I live in a man-made reality. Sometimes it's like my emotions are too much for my baby body, like I'm going to explode because there is so much to feel. 

"I wonder if emotions have a greater range in the spirit world--if our capacity to feel and experience is increased. I can't always pinpoint what I'm feeling, and maybe it's because I'm feeling a spiritual emotion, and my human frame does not quite know how to decipher it. Maybe the "inexpressible" feelings are spirit emotions, immortal emotions. I wonder if our capacity to feel and experience divine emotion is dependent on our personal righteousness. Is the ability to feel deeply a spiritual gift? Do some people push aside certain feelings so much that their ability to feel on a deeper, divine level becomes lost?"

Now enjoy this superman comic.

He Is Light

Lately I've been walking to work in the morning, and every morning without fail, I encounter beautiful views of the sky as the sun rises. The other morning a bit of sunlight peeked through the cloudy, foggy sky. The illuminated clouds were orange, and I could barely see the light blue of the sky behind them. There was a foggy mist covering the mountains, except for the very tops of three peaks, which were being highlighted by that little bit of sunlight. It was beautiful. I stood in the middle of the slushy road and just stared in awe. (Then I almost got run over, but that's neither here nor there.)

That gorgeous morning reminds me of Christ, and how He is light. Often clouds and darkness hide our path up the mountain, and sometimes the peaks--our eternal goals--get lost in the fog. But if we allow it, Christ's light can shine through the foggy confusion and illuminate our goal, reminding us of what we are working toward.

The symbolism of Christ being the Light of the World is really cool. In the dark, we stumble and fall--we can't see obstacles in our path. But light allows us to see clearly where we must place our feet. Light does not come into our lives, however, unless we allow it. Turning on the light switch, pulling up the shade, opening our eyes, etc. In the same way, Christ cannot come into our lives unless we allow Him to. It is our choice whether we stumble in darkness or find our path in the light.

 2 Samuel 23:4 says, "And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds..." Isn't the imagery here beautiful? I want my life to be like the sun rising on a morning without clouds. 

Painting for Kimbert

Robert and Edgar, oil on illustration board. 11.5 hours of frustration and doubt, but thanks to some heavenly help, I think it turned out alright. I'm horrible at taking pictures of my art-it always turns out rather...bleh. As usual, it looks better in person. Oh whhhell. It was fun to use my oils again.

The Creative Individual's Bible

I believe that everyone is an artist in some way. I also believe that creativity is super important, and nurturing your creativity will benefit many other aspects of your life. Enter: the little black bible. 

So I don't have instagram. It's still a picture worth looking at.

Before you zone out because this is another post about art, and you're not an "artist," hold up! The things in this book aren't just for artists. They're for everyone!

Austin Kleon sets forth 10 things that are important for the creative individual, or for anyone who wants to add some creativity to their life. I'm not going to go through all 10, because you can do that yourself when you buy the book! But I am going to go through a few things that I really love.

As an aspiring artist, I often struggle with how to create original pieces; pieces that are unique and completely "me." I think everyone struggles with the idea of originality. Teenagers are notorious for trying to find their own unique style, their own way. Fads of all shapes and sizes come and go as people try to create their own, original identity and way of life. 

Here's some crazy news:  NOTHING IS ORIGINAL. But don't let it get you down! 

"If we're free from the burden of trying to be completely original, we can stop trying to make something out of nothing, and we can embrace influence instead of running away from it."  

We are all creations of influence. Why not celebrate those influences, and use them to create, to improve?

"All creative work builds on what came before."  (PS: All the quotes in this post are from Kleon's book, unless otherwise stated.) What we are influenced by is important. "You're only going to be as good as the stuff you surround yourself with." So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with things of beauty, things that inspire you. As the old saying goes, "Garbage in, garbage out." 

It seems like a lot of time in this life is spent by waiting. We wait in line, we wait for a better opportunity, we wait until we have enough money, we wait until we find the right person, etc. Sometimes waiting is inevitable. But one thing is for sure: if you wait until you know "who you are" before you start doing the things you want to do, you'll never accomplish much. 

You're ready now! Start doing what you want to be doing! "Draw the art you want to see, start the business you want to run, play the music you want to hear, write the books you want to read, build the products you want to use--do the work you want to see done."  

Kleon talks about keeping a logbook, so you can see where you've been and how your ideas have evolved. One of my favorite quotes from this book is from Nicholson Baker:

"If you ask yourself, 'What's the best thing that happened today?' it actually forces a certain kind of cheerful retrospection that pulls up from the recent past things to write about that you wouldn't otherwise think about. If you ask yourself, 'What happened today?' it's very likely that you're going to remember the worst thing, because you've had to deal with it-you've had to rush somewhere or somebody said something mean to you-that's what you're going to remember. But if you ask what the best thing is, it's going to be some particular slant of light, or some wonderful expression somebody had, or some particularly delicious salad."

This book is super duper. *WARNING: READING RAINBOW REFERENCE AHEAD.* But you don't have to take my word for it! Seriously, read it. 

Creativity is given to us by God. It's a great, beautiful thing! Artist or not, you CAN create wonderful things. Bust out your creative ju-ju, and get making stuff. Do it now!

Blue Skies and Antlers

Today's wonder: a tiny patch of blue sky visible through the foggy, hazy air. I miss clear blue skies. Winter is beautiful, but a small bit of blue sky can do wonders for a body that is yearning for warmth and colors. 

Also: my most recent work of art is below. I've been playing around with composite images as of late, and I'm really liking it. Hope you enjoy the finished product! The cool thing I'm figuring out is that even if no one likes my art, it doesn't matter--all that matters is that I created it, and it did something for me. Cool, eh?

I Like This.

I made this to display one of  my favorite quotes. Good old Robert Henri.

Wonder

"Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder." -E.B. White.

As I was looking for inspiration today, I came across a website that has a list of 150 quotes that are all about art, creativity, and life. I'm usually the kind of person that makes fun of inspirational quotes, because let's be honest: most of the inspirational quotes out there are pretty cheesy. But a lot of the quotes I found on this site were really quite inspiring. The above quote by E.B. White was one of them, and for some reason, it jumped out at me. 

It's no secret that I love art and nature. Every time I step outside, I find something in the natural world that fills me with wonder. I marvel at the way the clouds hug the mountains, the way the snow glows when the sun hits it, and the myriad of colors that appear on the mountains and in the sky when the sun sets. I love the deep silence that fills the air after a snowfall, the way snowflakes glitter and dance in the sun as they float on the wind, and the deep blue of the mountains just before the sun's light completely disappears. I find so much beauty in the colors of the leaves in the Fall, the different patterns and colors of tree bark, and the quiet gurgle of water as it dances over and between rocks.

There is so much to experience in this life; so much that can fill us with wonder and joy. The sensation of wonder is unlike any other. It allows us to question, to pursue, to create.What would life be like, then, if we were always looking for the presence of wonder?

Musings

It's slightly ironic that the name of my blog is "Living Awake." I took a 5 hour nap yesterday. I pretty much take a nap everyday. It's fine.

I went to 2 hours of church yesterday. The only thing I remember about sunday school is that my toes were numb, but only on one foot. It's possible that my choice of shoes had something to do with it. Three and half inch heels in the snow = I could have made a wiser choice. But I'd like to say it was worth it. 
Sacrament was interesting. The first speaker told us that she is very, VERY serious about giving talks, and she was frustrated that she didn't have enough time to pray and study about her subject, which was employment....or something like that. She was pretty intense. I drew pictures on the program. But props to me for knowing that her topic had something to do with employment!
The second speaker was from the high council. When the words "high" and "council" are mentioned together in Sacrament meeting, a collective sigh of dread is often issued forth from the audience. Those speakers tend to wax long and boring. But thankfully for all involved, this high councilman was pretty cool. His talk was sort of all over the place, so I'm not exactly sure what the take-away message was. But what I got from it was this amazing quote:
" "Satan was abroad in the land--" that's how we know Satan was a female."
I died. Someone in the audience clapped a few times. It was great. This guy was pretty flippant, which gave me great hope. People with flippant attitudes can also be spiritual. That's great news for me, I must say.  Sometimes my flippancy causes me to worry about my spiritual salvation. But then I think, Heavenly Father created people with flippant attitudes, so He must also be a little flippant. Now I've typed it too many times, and the word "flippant" looks super strange. It's a fun word to say out loud really fast. Flippantflippantflippantflippantflippant.
I'm making manicotti for dinner (Ha. Spell check says "manicotti" should actually be spelled, "amniotic." I truly hope my dinner doesn't have anything to do with amniotic fluids.). Manicotti noodles are supposed to be stuffed with a cheese mixture, which I have. I started putting the cheese mixture into the noodles, but stopped after two seconds. Have you ever tried to stuff manicotti noodles? Imagine trying to stuff something mushy and cold into something limp and easily broken and you've got the picture (that's the best metaphor I've got right now.). So I put the noodles into a pan and spooned the cheese mixture on top of the noodles. Then I covered it all with sauce, so you can't even tell. That's my white trash version of manicotti noodles. It's gonna be great!
I have a love/hate relationship with food. Mostly it's hate. Trying to find food to eat 3 or 4 times a day isn't so bad. But when you have to eat every 2 hours, finding food becomes a horrific chore, especially when nothing sounds good. I imagine a fat, lumpy food monster taunting me every time my stomach starts to growl.  He's annoying and gross.
However, eating every 2 hours has greatly improved my health. Imagine that--eating is actually good for you. Ha! It's becoming more of a habit to eat now. It's kind of sad that I have to remind myself to eat. But that's what happens when you ignore hunger pains for so long. Speaking of hunger pains, my manicotti mess is done. And I'm pretty hungers.

The best of: Quotes

Roommates

New Year's resolution: Don't kill my roommates. It's a hard goal. If I had enough money, I would buy my own house, or at least move into a 2 bedroom apartment for Miranda and I. I'm SO sick of roommates. 

I really don't understand people these days. At my apt and at work, I encounter people from my generation that are lazy, inconsiderate, and disrespectful of others. I don't get it. My parents taught me to respect other people and their things, to clean up after myself, to be kind and considerate, not to steal, not to slum around like a sloth, etc. But it seems that these principles are slowly disappearing. Super lame.  

Back to roommates. As much as I want to list all the things I hate about them, I figure it won't do me any good. So I'm going to improve my situation by making a list of types of awful roommates that I DON'T have. 

First up:

While I have had a nasty note writer in the past, my current roommates do not indulge in this annoying habit. 

So...shoot.This list was supposed to be lengthy....but that's all I can come up with. All the other horrible types of roommates? That's what I live with.

At least I can comfort myself with the fact that they don't write me nasty notes ....yet.

It's a balloon kind of day.

I'll Sit For You

I decided to try my hand at computer illustration. Aaannndd it took forever. It's dang hard stuff! Anyway, here is the final product. It's a picture I drew a while ago of some random kid on an LDS pass-along card. The sketch took me 3 minutes or less. This illustrated mess took me 4 hours. Aren't computers supposed to make things faster? 

Recent Drawrings