Neglected Blog

I'm currently obsessed with What Not To Wear. So instead of writing stories or drawing pictures for my blog, I've been spending my free time watching that fabulous show. SORRY ABOUT THAT. 

Anyway. Better posts to come.  

xoxo, Saralyn

A Day for This

xoxo, Saralyn

Just Today

Today I'm thinking about how scarred up my face is going to be after all my skin has peeled off. Sunburns. My legs are skin taffy. (That sentence is not a loose translation, kids. We're talking LITERAL.)

I just really love vacuums. Months of a broken vacuum, and your carpet begins to exhibit the characteristics of a ferocious animal -- fangs, whiskers, and all. Four girls and no vacuum = a hair blanket that could cover five Papa Bear beds. But it ain't no thang.

I'm thinkin' Cheetos: baked cheesy snack, or a cheese parasite that sticks to everything and sucks away your life forces? Either way. YUM.

I probably shouldn't be trusted with anything sharp, because I cut my baby legs like a cheese grater last night whilst using a new razor. It's just a skill of mine. Thankfully I scar easily, so my slip-ups can be seen by all. Stop loving me for my scarred skin, every boy. I have so much more to offer. Just check out my knobbly knees and my multitude of hangnails. BAM.

I think dinner tonight should be marshmallows and hot fudge. And for dessert: week-old mac and cheese. Party at my house, y'all.

Also: I don't think I should use the word "y'all." It makes me sound pretentious. More pretentious stuff:  

-"I just got my first check from my Pokemon breeding business. I have money, ergo, I will pay for dinner."

-"Is everyone wearing at least SOMETHING vintage?"

-"He’s monolingual……….. not sure I can ever seriously date someone monolingual." 
-Hyphenated last names, such as: Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre (Double the hyphen, double the fun!)
-"I hate people who talk about internet memes not even realising there’s a proper French pronunciation."
-"The menu is in Comic Sans. Let’s leave."
-"I haven't instagrammed in like...three days."
-"I don't believe in defining music by genre."
-"My favorite thing to read? French existentialism."

Looks like I've been on the interwebs too long. I'm hungies. Stomach, make me a sammich.

I just remembered that Costa Vida skimped out on my lettuce the last time I got a burrito. I'd hate to be the person who ordered a lettuce wrap. Woopies, forgot the lettuce! Looks like you'll have to wrap this mess of beans and rice in your shirt. Don't forget to leave a tip, now, y'hear?

So. Tuesday. Have a good one.

xoxo, Saralyn

Sketchy

I love sketchbooks. I carry one with me wherever I go, because you just never know when inspiration is going to hit. I get zillions of ideas every day, and without my sketchbook to organize myself, my poor brain would explode. Most of my ideas don't come to fruition, but I still love being able to write them all down, or draw them out. My sketch book is a must-have at church. Drawing and doodling helps me listen better, and it helps to pass the time when things are slow (not that church is ever slow.......). 

I love drawing people. I used to sit in class and just sketch the people around me. I missed some important lecture notes, but I'd like to say it was worth it. People do interesting things in a classroom when they think no one is watching them. In the words of E. M. Forster: "For it is a serious thing to have been watched. We all radiate something curiously intimate when we believe ourselves to be alone."
 I watched a girl stack and re-stack her Smarties, and then eat them in a specific pattern. One girl looked at pictures of herself on Facebook for 50 minutes, and another girl wrote some boy's name over and over again in her notebook. Apparently she loves Zack. I watched one guy drool all over his computer, and heard him swore as he woke up in a sopping mess. Haha, college.

Here are some pages out of my latest sketchbook (I have about 50. IT'S FINE).

The yellow circles you keep seeing? Those are future paintings.....if I ever get around to doing them.

Moral of the story: whether you are artistically inclined or not, carrying a sketchbook around with you is a good idea. Write down random thoughts, make observations, look at the world in a different way. Have fun!

xoxo, Saralyn

Old Thoughts

This morning I spent some time going through my old journals. It's so interesting to see the way my thoughts have progressed over the years. It's also kind of funny to read things I've written in the past. 

I used to write poems all the time. I don't so much anymore, which is kind of sad. Perhaps I'll get back on that train. But I thought I'd share some of my old poems with you, just for kicks.

This first poem needs a back-story. When I was a senior in high school, I used to spend almost every weekend at home. Everyone else my age was out with friends, but I spent most of my free time at home, with my parents. I remember feeling like a bit of a loser some nights--no car, no cell phone, no friends to play with-- but for the most part I really enjoyed being home. I would go outside as the sun was setting, and just sit on my front steps. The mountains glowed with reflected light, and the sky went crazy with colors. I would look at all the beautiful plants and trees in my front yard, and I would just sit and wonder about nature and God's creations. I went on a lot of walks and bike rides by myself, down by the ponds or just around the neighborhood. I love sunsets, and I remember I would sit across from the ponds and be mesmerized by the beauty of the colors reflected in the water. 

This poem is most likely a response to my many evenings of watching the sun set. I wrote it back in 2009, when I was 18, so don't be expecting some amazing piece of work. I don't write poems because I think I'm amazing at them. I write poems because it helps me make sense of the world around me--just like my art. Anyway, enjoy. 

Music in Sunset

The colors seep and bleed in the sky.

They pull and twist, controlling emotions like a puppeteer.

Eyes closed, sway and move to the command.

No thought, no sense, just response.

An explosion, a release of tears.

Too expressive and beautiful,

it touches every part, grabs the insecurities,

and flings them into the wind.

Comprehension is gone. It's unforgettable,

and so deep--

deep enough for the soul. 

The mind has no connection to it,

the unfathomable, the unreasonable,

but the soul instantly finds harbor.

Clinging to the source, the colors grow and stretch.

They become something new--

a deeper well, they dig down.

Tears stream down your face,

and it suddenly makes sense as your soul ignites.

This next poem I wrote when I was 16. Many of my poems and journal entries have to do with anxiety, depression, or other hard things. Writing helps me when I'm depressed or having a hard time. Ha, if my future children or grandchildren ever go through my journals, they'll think I was a super depressed psycho all the time. I don't really write when I'm happy and doing well, because I don't need that clarity that comes from writing. Meh, let my future posterity think I was crazy. I probably will be by the time they know me anyway. "Oh yeah, that's my crazy grandma. She draws pictures of nude hamsters, only eats bacon and pickles, and wears giant bunny slippers on her head. She inhaled a little tooo much paint thinner when she was younger...." 

Untitled

It seems strange that the mind can be a burden.

That being alone with your thoughts can frighten you.

Guilt is dreamed up out of nowhere,

and fear and panic follow right behind.

Funny how your best asset can be your worst enemy.

It's strange, isn't it?

How life throws you up and down,

never stopping for a break or a mental check-list of your well-being.

But while the ride is worth the pain, sometimes the impact scars.

It's hard to direct the path.

It's hard to change, and decide to be the one in command.

You're on top of the world, deciding the course, choosing the experiences.

And then life happens.

The mind performs strange tricks on you, 

like a cheap magician at a child's birthday party.

You get thrown into the back seat a lot--

maybe more than was needed.

You'd think you could take a stand,

be comfortable with your thoughts.

But while being in control is always possible, traveling there takes work--

sometimes pain, sometimes fear of the unknown.

But what is fear?

Just the absence of experience, of hope, of lessons learned.

What's to stop you from gaining experience?

From having hope?

From learning more?

The mind, 

that powerful conjurer of light and dark.

So there you have it: a look into my young, teenage brain. You should be thankful I didn't share my poem entitled: Hot Dogs, Yum. 

Have a beautiful Sunday!

xoxo, Saralyn

Strawberry Pie

Breakfast: the best strawberry pie I think I've EVER tasted. I had it for dessert last night, and I'll probably have it for every meal today. (Sorry stomach, lactose is headed your way!) Check it:

Right??? So here's the secret to this AMAZING pie: 

Pie crust, prebaked and cooled. (We used a frozen pie crust. It's the easy way, kids.)

Combine in pan over medium heat:

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

3 tbs. corn starch

1/4 cup strawberry gelatin powder

Let that delicious mess come to a gentle boil, then remove it from heat and let it cool. As it cools, it will  set up and get nice and thick.

Side note: If you're not patient enough to wait for the mixture to set up, this can happen:

Ha! We put the mixture on the pie and it sort of overflowed EVERYWHERE. But it made a pretty sweet picture on our counter. I think it looks like a goatee man with awesome pouf hair. Super trendy.

So. The recipe we used says to slice fresh strawberries and place them on the bottom of your pie shell, then pour the strawberry gelatin mixture over the top. You could do that. 

OR you could do this: Miranda was a genius and made a semi-sweet cream cheese mixture out of cream cheese and a little bit of powdered sugar. She put it on the bottom of the pie shell, then put the strawberries on top of that, and the strawberry mixture on top of that. I would recommend this course of action. The cream cheese junk isn't very sweet on it's own, but combined with the super sweet strawberry jazz, it's peeerfect. 

Now stick that baby in the fridge and let it set up for 2-3 hours. Serve with whipped cream.

SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD. Seriously. Your taste buds will celebrate for hours (or days, depending on when you brush your teeth. It ain't no thang.)

xoxo, Saralyn

Aladdin

So it turns out that Disney movies are hilarious, especially when you watch them late at night with your sibs. Take, for example, Aladdin. I watched it last night for the first time in a few years. And, okay, I was dying. Is that the funniest show ever made? Last night it sure was! So here are my favorite clips from that show. The second clip isn't great quality, but it's good anyway. 

Also: my hands currently look like the hands of a 98 year old man who likes to grate his skin on cheese graters. IT'S FINE. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLXUAmZ7J5E  (Sorry this video wouldn't display on my site. You'll have to watch it on youtube.)

Have a great day!

xoxo, Sara

Latest Artwork

Bike collage.

Happy Thursday, all!

xoxo, Saralyn

Spring!

Welcome to the first day of Spring! It's raining today--I can't think of a better way to usher in the new season. Isn't it so cool that Heavenly Father lets us experience lots of different seasons and phases of the Earth? I love it. Today I'd like to share with you a bunch of products and fun stuff that reminds me of spring. So. Here we go!

Aren't these plates beautiful? I love pretty plates. I take after my Mom in that respect. :)

The bottom right picture? That's wallpaper! Isn't that great? I love the colors on the cushions and pillows. I loooove decorative pillows. Love them.

Confession: Smoothies are my addiction. I could have a smoothie for every meal, every day, and never get sick of them. 

Those bird hooks from Modcloth are adorable. And the bookends from Anthropologie? So clever.

I'm excited to see all the flowers and trees wake up. I'm also super excited for the weather to be warmer so I can feel Mr. Golden Sun on my skin. I've learned my lesson though: no more sunburns for me. (hahaha, YEAH RIGHT.)

Got anything that reminds you of Spring? Tell me about it, or send me pictures! I'd love to share your thoughts and favorite products regarding Spring.

Have a beautiful day!

xoxo, Saralyn 

A List of Favorites: Websites

I like lists. Sometimes I write lists just for the fun of writing them, without planning on actually using the list for anything. I'm weird like that. 

I'd like to start doing once a week posts called "A List of Favorites." I'm going to pick a topic, and do a short list of my favorite things in that topic. Today's topic: Websites! 

I'm not really one to just sit on the computer all day. I actually run out of things to do after I've checked  my email or facebook. I'd rather be out doing things than sitting at home on the computer. But after finding some really awesome blogs, I can see how one could just cruise around on the interwebs all day. 

So. Here are my favorite sites to cruise around on. It's mostly girly stuff. But I am a girl...so that just makes sense! Enjoy!

1. A Beautiful Mess I know I've mentioned this one before, but I just love it so much. It's a website run by two sisters, Elsie and Emma, that has crafts, photography, decor, fashion, beauty, recipes, and so much more. It's a pretty popular site with lots of fun tutorials and ideas. 

2. Saturated Canary This blog is done by a woman named Krista. She showcases her cute cartoons, writes about being a mother, does fashion and craft posts, and writes about Jesus a lot. She has an interesting way of writing, and I really enjoy reading her posts. I love that she writes so much about her faith. Super cute little blog, and very uplifting.

3. Oh, Hello Friend Another crafty, fashion, decor blog, but I love it. This one is run by Danni, a cute designer that has an etsy shop and will occasionally talk about her beliefs in Christ. It's just a happy little site.

4. Art Is A Way A site all about art that features tons of different artists and many different forms of art. It's obvious why I love this one.

5. Kuler This site is AMAZING. I have used it so much for all my different art projects. It's a site that helps you generate color themes, and I love it. You can browse themes other people have created, make your own, or create a theme using color swatches from a photo or painting you really like. It displays the colors in HSV, RGB, CMYK, and LAB so when you want to transfer the colors, you can match them perfectly. 

6. Society6 This site has zillions of amazing, beautiful art prints that you can purchase. I get a lot of my inspiration from this site. It's cool, because you can purchase some of the prints as iphone or ipod cases, tote bags, shirts--whatever you want. Super neat.

7. Design Sponge You probably already know about this site. But still, it's one of my favorites, so it goes on the list. It's all about home decor, which I love. It also has some other cool stuff, but it's primarily about home design. The before and afters are my favorite!

8. TED TED talks are my favorite. They have awesome talks on every subject you could ever think of, from science to art to medicine to philosophy. 

9. Mormon.org I love the videos they have on this site. It's inspiring to see how other people live who share my same faith, and to see how people overcome struggles. Super uplifting. I love it.

10. Dark Roasted Blend This site has everything. Not kidding, everything. Strange links and pictures, odd facts--it's just a fun site to visit when you need a little interest in your day.

So there you have it, 10 of my favorite sites to visit. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do! I'd love to find new awesome sites, so let me know: what websites do you love to frequent?

Have a glorious day!

xoxo, Saralyn 

Sorry For The Late Post

Post titles annoy me. I never know which words to capitalize, and if I leave small words like "to," "the," "for," etc., then the title looks weird. So whatevies.

I got a nasty sunburn, and today it started to peel. LEPROSY, ANYONE??? Every time I look in the mirror I just laugh and laugh at myself. I've never looked better. My neck meats have just started the peeling process, and now I have a lovely neck beard. If you happen to run out of dried potato flakes while you are making dinner, call me up. My skin flakes should do the trick. Haha. GROSS. Good thing I saw all of my friends today. ..........geug.

I'm afraid I don't have much to say today. I promise better posts are coming up this week. But in the meantime, have a great night, and enjoy this drawing of Sam from Moonrise Kingdom.

xoxo, Sara

Returned

I'm back! Oh man, my road trip to California was MUCH needed, and soooo much fun! We spent time in St. George, Las Vegas (I got to see my sister and her cute family!!), Rodondo and Hermosa Beach, and beautiful Huntington Beach. We had quite a bit of cold fog and cloudy weather, but in the end we finally found Mr. Golden Sun. I got RIDICULOUSLY burnt, but that's what happens when you have skin that literally burns retinas because it is so white. Today my face looks like lizard skin, all dry and scaly and GROSS. I would post a picture of my sunburn, but you would probably barf. It's pretty nasty. 

Picture time!!!

Love this girl.

Jeremy, Ben, Me, and Mellie. Four awesome people.

Hermosa Beach....I think.

Rodondo Pier, all covered in fog. 

I went on an exploration adventure and found a door that opened on to the roof of our hotel. This is the view from up there! Rodondo Boulevard. So fun.

Melissa looks good with a mustache.

WE FOUND SUN!!!

I love the beach. Love, love, love.

So that was that! I hope you had a beautiful week! I'm off to slather ten pounds of lotion on my dry, leathery face skins, and a zillion tons of aloe vera on my poor crispy legs. Haha, sunburns.

xoxo, Sara

March 11th

I love birthdays. : )

Just so you know: I'm headed to Cali this week, so I won't be posting again until Saturday or Sunday. 

Have a fabulous day, and a fabulous week!

xoxo, Sara

Happy Sunday!

Today

Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. This blog has changed appearances more in the last week than.....something that changes a lot. (My brain isn't doing too well with comparisons right now.) But I think I'm finally happy with it.

Today has been pretty rough. I feel horrid and have zero energy. My hair is gross, I'm frustrated with my shaved head, I look like....bad, and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. BUT. There are a few things that have made this day better.

First off, it's so beautiful outside. The sun is shining, the sky is clear, and the mountains are glowing. Beautiful.

Second, the song Come Talk to Me, by Bon Iver. His music always gets me in a good mood. Have a listen:

The third good thing is that I got to take a nap. HALLELUJAH. Naps save my soul.

I think this day will end up being pretty good. I hope yours is better.

xoxo, Sara

My Latest Work

I did not take the photo, p.s. But I had tons of fun doing this piece. 

It is GORGEOUS outside today!! If I wasn't so blasted tired I would be out there doing....something. I hope you can enjoy this beautiful day!

xoxo, Sara

Fort Contest Results

Everyone pretty much did horrible with voting. You're not supposed to vote for two forts, people. That makes everything so much more confusing for me. OH WELL.

Here are your results:

Two votes for number 5 (Dennis)

Two votes for number 2 (Ben)

Two votes for number 3 (Kelsey)

Two votes for number 4 (Kimberly) 

And the winner, with three votes, is ALLISON!!!!! Congrats!

Thanks for participating, guys! I hope you had fun. More contests to come, so stayed tuned! Smiley face.

xoxo, Sara

Fort Contest!!

JUDGMENT DAY. 

Great job to all the fort builders out there! Thanks so much for submitting your amazing forts. I hope you had fun! Vote for your favorite via commenting on this post. Or, if you happen to frequent facebook, post your favorite on my page. The winner gets something awesome!

1. ALLISON and her fort stealing-dog:

2. BENJAMIN and his fort of extreme effort:

3. CLUB KELSEY, aka The Party Zone:

 4. KIMBERLY and her fort boy:

And finally, coming in at number 5, DENNIS, with his comfy corner:

VOTE NOW!!!

Sometimes.

Sometimes, you have a cold, and your nose decides to drench your face with a runny mess at the worst possible moment. Sometimes you have no tissues to fix the disaster that is now your face.

Sometimes, you cut your own bangs and regret it, because for every day afterwards, you have a bad hair day. Sometimes your hair looks like this:

hahaha, I'm DYING.

Sometimes, you try to build a tree out of wire, but find that you can't properly stabilize it, and it falls down if you so much as breathe around it. Sometimes you buy over 2,000 feet of wire and find that you still don't have enough. Back to Home Depot we go.

Sometimes you don't shower for a few days. .....

And sometimes, you just have to laugh at how ridiculous you are: snot running down your face, hair all up in your business, scratches on your hands and arms from that stupid wire project, and body stench like a mule's hind parts.

Love the sometimes.

 xoxo, Sara

Depression: The Black Monster

I want this blog to be uplifting, so I try to post things that are happy. Today, I'd like to talk about something that's not super happy. BUT it will have a happy ending!

NOTE: I feel that I should share these experiences with you. Some of them are somewhat sacred to me, and I would ask that you would treat them with respect. 

I'm one of those people that has skin that blemishes easily. YAY. As I've thought about it though, it's been somewhat of a blessing. I'm a pretty vain person at times, and having less than desirable skin has kept me humble. ANYWAY. My sweet Mom wanted to help me out, so my freshman year of high school, I went on Accutane. I'm sure you've heard of it before--it's a headache and a hassle (especially for girls), but it's supposed to cure or drastically improve skin imperfections. I had been on it once before, and it worked--for a while. But it was necessary for me to be on it again. A few of the possible side effects of accutane are depression and psychosis. But as I had been on the meds before and was fine, I wasn't worried.

One night, a few days into taking the meds, I was having a conversation with my cousin/roommate. I was feeling really down, and wanted some advice. Unfortunately, something went wrong, and the conversation left me feeling worse than before (not my cousin's fault). After lying in bed for some time, I went out into the dark kitchen, my thoughts becoming too much for me to handle. 

That night was the darkest I had ever had, up to that point. I was feeling lost, scared, alone, and a little bit crazy. I kneeled on the cold floor and prayed, silently but fervently, that God would be with me. My tears came hard and fast as I prayed for relief, comfort, anything. But all I felt was cold emptiness. I did not feel God's presence. I was so desperate that I cried out to Jesus Christ, thinking that if God wouldn't have mercy on me, perhaps Christ would. But still, nothing. 

Obviously, I was doing something wrong. I wasn't worthy of heavenly help. I deserved to die. Those were the thoughts running through my head as I wept on the kitchen floor. After a few hours, I gave up, and went to bed. 

The next day, after a few phone calls, I figured out that I was having an adverse reaction to the Accutane. I stopped taking the meds, hoping that the depression and horrible thoughts and feelings would end. Unfortunately, the depression lasted for quite a while. To add to the problem, it was finals week. GREEAT. Incredibly, I managed to pass my finals despite my mental state. I chalk that one up to divine help...and the fact that most of my finals were art projects and not actual tests. (Perk of being an art major!!)

One night, I was by myself in my apartment, studying, when suddenly the depression hit me full force, like a tornado. I ended up in the corner of my room, curled up in the fetal position, crying like I had never cried before. I felt an awful darkness take over my body and soul. It was like there was a dementor in the room, sucking out every good memory and feeling I had ever had. (I love me some Harry Potter.)

I've had some pretty painful physical injuries. But nothing I've ever had could compare to the mental pain and anguish I felt that night. The only way to escape would be to end my own life. 

Suicide is a touchy, unpleasant subject for a lot of people, understandably so. I never ever would have thought that I would consider suicide in my lifetime. But when the turmoil and darkness in your brain is that bad, you are only interested in stopping the pain. Thoughts of who you would be affecting, or who you would be leaving behind aren't even part of the equation. It's mental torture, and since there's no way to escape your own brain, the logical explanation is to end your life.

Back to the night in my room. My sister, who had been working, came to my apartment just in time to save me. She literally had to hold me back to keep me from running to the kitchen and sticking a knife into myself. After I had calmed down a little, she called my parents, who sternly and firmly told me that although what I was going through was hard, I could fight it. They gave me encouraging advice, and before I hung up the phone, I told them in a quivering, tear-laced voice, "I can do this." 

I made it through my finals and went home to detox. After a few days, I was back to normal---for the most part. Since the Accutane debacle, depression has been a part of my daily life. I had to go on medicine to combat it, which helped a lot. 

Summer, 2011. I had been taking my medicine to battle my depression, but somehow, I forgot to refill my prescription and I stopped taking them. I was already having a rough summer, but going cold turkey off my pills sent me into a dark downward spiral. However, I did a little better at fending off the worst of the depression. 

I signed up for the Top of Utah Marathon, partly because I've always wanted to run a marathon ever since I lost my chance when I was 18. But the main reason for signing up for the race was to give myself something to live for. I needed something to work toward during the summer, otherwise I wouldn't have any reason to fight the depression. 

That summer was the worst. I didn't really talk to any of my friends, nor did I have the desire to. When I wasn't working, I was running or working out. I became a mad woman, obsessed with exercise. I pushed myself as hard as I could during workouts, because the physical pain was easier to handle than the mental pain. When I ran, I ran hard and fast, trying to run away from my mental anguish. Running distracted me, and kept me sane. Some days saw me working out twice or even three times, depending on how bad the depression was that day. 

Nights were the worst. I would hide in the corner of my closet and cry as that dark monster took over my thoughts. That summer, I prayed more fervently than I ever have. But as those with depression know, it's difficult to feel the presence of anything good or comforting when that darkness inhabits your mind and soul. I felt that God had completely abandoned me. It was a supreme struggle to even get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes people mistake depression for laziness. Depression is not laziness. When you are depressed, doing even simple tasks requires a huge amount of effort and willpower. You have to take each day a minute at a time. Laziness? No. Battling depression is just that--a battle. Though you might stay in bed all day, you are struggling and working just to keep yourself alive.

One day, I was alone in my apartment--something I tried not to let happen, for fear that I might harm myself. I was writing in my journal-something I did a lot that summer. I was sitting on the couch, when suddenly, I was possessed by a strong, dark urge to end my life. A cold, dark presence gripped my heart, and I was terrified. It was like an unknown power was putting these crazy thoughts into my head. I was completely alone. I didn't want to die, but I felt that there was no other choice. In complete agony and fear, I cried out to my God, hoping that He would hear me and help me this time. 

In my darkest moment, when I was seconds away from ending my precious existence, God sent me help. I felt an unseen presence gently, but firmly, hold me down on the couch. My brain was telling me to end my life, but I was physically incapable of getting off the couch. After a few moments, the gentle hold released, and I found that I no longer had the desire to end my life. My depression had lifted, and I felt the comfort of God's immense love for me. I was not cured--I still battled with depression for the rest of that summer, until I got my medicine back. But God allowed me to see and remember that He was there for me.

I had a hard time seeing God's presence in my life that summer. But as I look back, I can see that He never left me. My family in Logan and back at home saved me multiple times. I got a blessing from my wonderful brother-in-law and cousin, and I was able to live with my amazing sister, who looked after me and literally saved me many times. I wasn't planning on living with her, but God knew that I needed it. My parents and other family members prayed for me, and God protected me and watched over me. 

It's clear to me, through these and other experiences, that God has a plan for me. Part of that plan includes struggling with anxiety and depression. But He will always be there to help me through, whether I realize it or not. 

I have many family members that struggle with depression. I never understood it when I was younger, but now I do. It's hard to see someone you love and care about in pain. It's even harder when you can't see the problem, like you would see a physical ailment. Depression is hard as hell, and can make some days unbearable. But I know that it can be handled, and life can be a beautiful, wonderful thing, due to the Atonement of Christ. I don't fully understand the Atonement, but I know that Christ knows exactly what our darkest moments feel like, and He is always there for us. My family members that struggle with depression are great examples to me. They prove day after day that despite difficult trials, life can still be a thing of joy and goodness. 

My experiences with suicide have allowed me to see the world through different eyes. I appreciate the beauty of this Earth so much more than I did before. I have come to believe that the human mind has immense power to overcome difficulties. I still struggle with depression, and know that I will struggle with it for the rest of my life. But I also know that I will be able to experience things that few people will be able to experience. I will be happy and find joy in life, due in part to struggling with depression. 

Life is beautiful. Hard, yes. Definitely yes. But it's so worth the pain and struggle. God does not, nor will He ever, leave His children alone to fend for themselves. Even when you can't feel His presence, don't forget that!

Now go and have a happy Wednesday night. 

xoxo, Sara 

Tuesday Obsessions

Frustrated

You know what makes me frustrated? The fact that I don't know how to code my own websites. It's such a headache trying to figure it out on my own. GUUUHHH. One day, I'm going to take a class, and I'm going to learn how to do websites, dangit! In the meantime, I'll just have to make do with this set-up. It's not my favorite, but it took me forever to get it like this, and I'm not touching it. So....that's all.

Inspiration: Blue

The sky is so beautiful today! I was walking home from work this morning, and I couldn't stop staring at the clear blue sky and the beautiful, perfect mountains. It was gorgeous. I took some pictures on my phone, but unfortunately my phone camera is.....less than awesome. Just imagine snow covered mountains against a backdrop of immaculate blue. 

The beautiful sky is the inspiration for today's inspiration: the color blue!! 

Bolivian Salt Lake

Antarctica

This is BEAUTIFUL!!

Korean artist Lee Kyu-Hak recreates famous paintings using wood wrapped in colorful newsprint. I love this! 

Another wood painting by Lee Kyu-Hak

Super cute dress

Owls. Whoot.

Turntable?? Yes please!

Awesome plate. I love the detail on this.

Hope you were inspired. Have a fabulous day!