My Favorite Site

A lot of people ask me where I get my clothes. So today, I'm going to tell you. But first: a little back-story.

I've always loved fashion. I love shopping for clothes, I love designing clothes, I love getting new clothes--I love it all. In high school, I would dream about having the "perfect" wardrobe. At the time, I wasn't able to buy very much, since I didn't have a steady income. My high school wardrobe consisted of old clothes that I had owned since junior high, a few new pieces from the mall, and clothes that I borrowed from time to time from my friends. I don't like brand name clothes that everyone and their pet dogs wear, so I would try to find clothes that were unique and different.

One day, I was completing an assignment for my fashion merchandising class, and I stumbled upon a clothing website. From that moment on, my heart belonged to ModCloth. Kind of cheesy, but it's true. Whenever I get new clothes, I get them from ModCloth. It's a little pricey, but sometimes they have awesome sales. They have awesome decor, books, accessories, dresses, shoes, clothes--everything you could ever want. And I love it all!

Here are a few of my favorite things from their newest arrivals:

So next time you need new clothes, check them out! Here's a link: ModCloth

If you have a favorite clothing store or online site, please let me know! I love finding new places to shop. One day I hope to open my own online clothing store. When I do, you'll be the first to know. Have a fashionable day!

Today, Again.

I realize this is the third post I've done today. But. I was home alone most of the day--well, I had these guys with me:

Chocolate eggs (YUMS!) +  my crooked bangs. Best friends!

Lately I've been having a hard time doing anything productive. In the mornings, I make great plans for the day that include tons of projects. This week, I haven't been able to do any of my planned projects. I should have worked on my wire sculpture or done some paintings, but I'm not in my groove, and trying to do art when I'm not feeling it is useless. It's too cold to go play outside. I could pack, but....ehh, better not. 

So here I am, on blogger again. I've been playing around with photography/text art, so I'll post some more of those that I did today. 

Also: I have a confession. I've become obsessed with this blog: abeautifulmess.com It's a blog about pretty much everything I love. And the girl that writes it is so cute. I LOVE this site. If I tell you why I love it, this post will never end. So just go there and find out for yourself. It's rad.  

I guess it's finally late enough to go to bed. Here are the pictures I've been playing with. The photographs are not mine, I just wrote stuff on them. 

Oh, one more thing. I'm going to start posting something every day. I'm going to try to spice up this old blog with pictures and projects and other fun stuff. I know no one really reads this, but to anyone who does: now you can look forward to something new each day. Happy sleep adventures!

ALSO:

This is how I'm feeling today. Life is great. You are great. 

Have a beautiful day!

10 Things I Love

Change

I posted a little while ago about how things are finally changing for me, and that I'm headed back to school again. Well....that's not entirely true anymore. 

I had every intention of going to the BATC to get certified in fashion merchandising, but I just couldn't make myself start. I dreaded going, and felt that it wasn't what I wanted or needed to do. I've been having a rough time as of late, worrying and worrying about what direction I should go in life. I have anxiety, so I'm a natural worrier. I'm also a perfectionist, and I hate making mistakes. I've been spending a vast majority of my time being unhappy, because I've been looking for the perfect answer as to what I should do with my life. I wasn't really getting any awesome revelation, despite my prayers. I felt that I was completely unworthy of heavenly guidance or help, because I was trying my hardest but was getting nowhere. I was more frustrated with my life and myself than I ever have been. 

I went home a little while ago, and voiced my frustrations, fears, worries, concerns, and a whole lot more to my parents. (My unfortunate mother had to bear the brunt of my tears, constant talking and analyzing. She's an angel.) I honestly don't know what I would do without my parents. On the scale of wise-ness, they are owls. My Dad talked to me about all my worries later that week, and he really helped me out. I decided that a few things needed to change in my life.

The first change: STOP WORRYING! I'm always looking for THE perfect answer: the perfect place to live, the perfect career, the perfect time to change, etc. But as my dad reminded me, there is no perfect answer. (I have to be reminded of that one quite a bit.) God has given me agency, and as much as I would like Him to tell me what to do, He's not going to. He has given me the ability to choose my own path for myself, which is far greater than being told what to do. I made a commitment to myself to stop worrying about the perfect choice, stop worrying about the future, and just relax and live happily. 

This is hanging on the wall above my bed.  Hopefully it will help me remember that life is to be enjoyed.

Change number two: I'm moving! Logan has been good to me, but it's time to leave. I'm heading back to Kaysville for a while, until I find a new apartment, probably in the Salt Lake area. I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do once I'm out of Logan, but I feel that it's right to move. I'll miss some things about Logan, especially the mountains. I love the mountains up here so much, especially in the Fall. Most of all, I'll miss my nieces. :( I'm so sad that I can't take them with me! It's been so great living close to my sister and her cute family. She has been so awesome to me, and I love going over to her house. Her girlies light up my day!

Third change (and this is the most exciting one for me): A new job! I found a job that I desperately want. It's in the Uintas, working as a Field Instructor/Mentor to at-risk youth ages 13-17. I would be out in the wilderness, camping, hiking, and teaching wilderness survival to troubled youth. For years I've been living and working only for myself. I think it would be so awesome to be able to have a job that allows me to influence people, and really help them change. Plus, I'd be getting paid to do what I love: explore the mountains!!! I'm praying that I get this job, but if I don't, I know I'll find something else just as exciting. 

There's one more change that's coming up in my life, but it's still in the beginning stages. I haven't told anyone about it, because often I get huge ideas, tell everyone because I'm so excited, and then the ideas fizzle out because I lose interest or I find something better. So this one's under wraps. But it's something I've been wanting to do for a long time, and I'm excited to get it started. I'll tell you this much: it involves 5 things that I absolutely love, namely, art, decor, fashion, nature, and books. 

Change is hard and scary, but I'm looking forward to these new changes in my life, because it means that I'll be growing and learning even more. Life is just beginning, and I can't wait for more adventures!

Just a Drawing.

A Tree for Thursday

An old man walking his pet tree. There's nothing better to look at on a Thursday night.

In Honor of Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day! I've always liked Valentine's Day--mostly because when I was younger, my Dad would do really fun stuff for us. I remember waking up a few times to candy kisses and hearts scattered all over the table. One time he hid candy in the house and made little cards with word puzzles that, when solved, created little messages.

One year the 6 of us kids, with our Dad's help, turned our kitchen into a private restaurant. We cooked and served a dinner for our parents, complete with place settings, menus, appetizers, dessert, and background music. After dinner, my parents danced in the dining room to one of their favorite songs. For my parents, it was probably a less-than-awesome night. We kids had nooo idea how to cook steaks, and we were giggling and whispering in the kitchen for their entire meal. I think we even asked them for large tips when they were done eating. But for me, it was, and still is, the best Valentine's Day I can remember.

That night, I got to see true love in action. I saw the love and respect my Dad had for my Mom, in planning that whole night out for her. I saw the love my parents had for each other, and for us, their children. There were no giant boxes of chocolates, no rose petals on the carpet, no expensive jewelry or lavish gifts, and no fancy dinner reservations. There was just us, a young family of 8, in a little blue house that was our home. Old, torn blankets were hung around the kitchen to make the dining room seem more private, and little emergency candles were on the table to set the mood. The steak was dry, the service was lacking, and the dishes weren't fancy china. But because there was love in our house that night, our "restaurant" was better than any 5 star dining service.

For years after that experience, I always thought that we had done my parents a special service that night. But looking back now, I realize that it was us kids who received something special that night. For me, at least, I received the comforting, reassuring fact that my parents loved each other, and that our home was a safe, happy place. I also realized that service is love, and that dry steak tastes like sawdust.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days when all 6 of us kids were living at home. Back when we'd run through the towels on the line after my Mom hung them up to dry, or when we'd laugh so hard we couldn't get through family prayers. Back when we'd make giant mud cities by the garden, sit on the roof to watch 4th of July fireworks, or be chased around the yard by our crazy rabbit who thought he was a dog. I miss those days. But though my life, and the lives of my family members, has changed drastically since those days, there's still one thing that stays the same: good ol' L.O.V.E.

Valentine's Day isn't about whether or not you're in a relationship, or whether or not your significant other remembers to do something nice for you. You could say it's a day for people to make money off of stupid cards, candy, giant teddy bears, jewelry, etc., but I think that's a pretty cynical view of this holiday. While we should show our love to others every day of the year, I think Valentine's Day is an opportunity to stop and think about all the different forms of love that are present in your life. It's a day to serve those you love, and recognize those that have served you. I like to think of it as a second Thanksgiving, replacing turkey and mashed potatoes with chalky candy hearts and chocolate. (As a side note, there's absolutely nothing wrong with buying candy and presents for yourself. There's also nothing wrong with eating an entire bag of conversation hearts all by yourself. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, JILLIAN MICHAELS.)

Anyway. Now that I've talked about the greatness of Valentine's Day, here are some pictures I drew to celebrate the absurdity of it. Enjoy!

This one's for you, Mom. Not because it's a guy at a urinal.......but because you recognized this song for how lame it truly is long before anyone else did.

Creepiest love song ever.

Cards!

This is Better Than Candy Hearts.

I watched this and tears came out of my eyeballs. Call me a sap, but I could watch this 10 times over and I would cry every time. It's an awesome reminder that the true love of Christ can and does exist in our lives.

Joseph Campbell for a Sunday Afternoon

A Study of the Human Hand

I'm really bad at painting hands, so I figured I'd study my own hand and try to finally get it down. It turned out okay, considering I didn't draw it beforehand. It took me about 5 hours from start to finish. The crazy stuff on the background is rubber cement. That wasn't the look I was originally going for, but the glue didn't peel off nicely like I wanted it to. However, I think I like this look better than if I had completely peeled it off.  The colors in the painting look ten million times better in person, as always. I should probably invest in a good camera sometime......

The sun is shining today. Hooray!

Pay-shunts

So this joke is kind of lame (and I really don't like chickens), but it's pretty indicative of my personality. I'm not great at being patient. This is especially true with my art. I have a certain style of art, called, "I HATE WAITING." As a result, my paint doesn't ever dry, and some of my paintings turn out muddy and slightly smeary. I hate waiting for the bus, waiting for certain phone calls gives me anxiety, I dislike waiting for people to arrive, and waiting for my computer to load makes me want to punch myself in the head.

This past year or so I've been waiting for a lot of things. Waiting to go back to school, buy a car, and move until I had enough money. Waiting to go back to school until I decided what I really wanted to pursue. Waiting to paint a certain work of art until I was sure I could do it well enough. Waiting to eat until I found something worth eating (that one got me in heaps of trouble. There's nothing worth eating. Just eat.) Waiting to get a different job until I had more skills. Waiting for Heavenly Father to answer my prayers the way I wanted Him to. I felt like I was in a constant state of waiting, getting more and more frustrated as my life continued to be the same, day after day after day. My life was a black and white film reel that was stuck on one frame. I was so confused. Getting a different job, going back to school--aren't those worthy goals? So why was it taking so long?

I thought that perhaps if I moved locations, I would have more opportunities, and things would finally go my way. I planned on moving to Washington or Oregon. It would be perfect. But...I needed to earn more money. To do that, I would need a different job. To get a different job, I would need more skills. More skills meant going back to school. Going back to school required more money. More money meant a different job. .......do you see where this is going? It's a vicious cycle fueled by injured unicorns and the tears of dirty children.

Patience is ridiculously difficult. Dieter F. Uchtdorf said (in April 2010 conference talk) that patience is a precious and rare virtue, and without it, we cannot please God or become perfect. Patience is "a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."  It seems patience is pretty important. Thank goodness I'm super duper at being patient. UUUUGGGG.

Pres. Uchtdorf explains that patience is not simply the act of waiting for something to happen:

"There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

My idea of patience for the past while has been pretty skewed. I was working toward something, but I had no faith or hope in God. I was despondent and depressed, and felt that nothing was ever going to work out because it was taking ssssoooooo long for anything to happen. I was waiting, but I was not "bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desire of [my heart was] delayed." I was enduring, but I was not "enduring well."

Waiting on the Lord's time is one of, if not THE, hardest things to do. And yet, it's vital to any success or happiness in this life.

"Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer.........God’s promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and in His ways. " (Pres. Uchtdorf)

It's been a long time coming in my quest for direction in my life. I've experienced a boatload (like, a huge boat. Maybe even a ship. A cruise ship. A cruise ship called Frustration sailing on the sea of Confusion headed to the island of Sitandwait.) of frustration and confusion. I had to seek guidance from my super wise parents so, so, soooooo many times. But in all my waiting, I have learned quite a bit.

The past year or so I've had time to figure out who I am, without the influence of school. I learned to be more self reliant, figuring out how to get where I needed to be without a car. I was able to work on and improve my art, and learned more about who I am as an artist. (I am finally to the point where I can call myself an artist without cringing.) I learned more about trusting in the Lord, and being able to turn to others for help. I realized that my family truly is my greatest support, and they will always be there for me, even when everyone else has given up on me. I found (through counsel from my Dad), that there is no perfect answer. There isn't one certain path that I must take--I have the ability to choose for myself where I want to go and what I want to do in life. Heavenly Father has a plan for me, but my success in life is not dependent on one critical decision, like where I choose to live or what I choose to pursue in school. I learned to enjoy myself as I was waiting for certain events to occur. I can't always control when things happen, but I can control the amount of happiness I experience while I'm waiting for them to happen.

I also watched a lot of cartoons. Adventure Time, to be precise. And I experienced the wonder that is Duck Dynasty.

ANYWAY. The point of this post is to say that things are finally happening! The wheels are in motion. My art is headed in a direction that is finally reaping rewards (and I don't mean strictly material ones), and I'm headed back to school. SCHOOL!!!! After 8 or 9 months of working my buns off, I'll be proficient in the techniques of fashion merchandising. When I finish school, I'm planning on moving to find a new job in the fashion field. West coast, anyone??

It's exciting to be accomplishing my goals. But I'm thankful that I had all this time to wait and struggle. It was difficult. Okay, to be honest, it pretty much sucked--until I learned to be happy where I was, and to be patient--TRULY patient. I'm still an impatient person. It's something I'll be constantly working on. But I've learned that to reach my true potential (sometimes that word makes me gag), I have to have patience and trust in the Lord. I have to purposefully live each day, whether or not I'm where I want to be.

So that's my sermon on patience. Moral of the story: Watch Duck Dynasty. You'll thank me on your hands and knees.  .....but don't really thank me on hands and knees. That'd be weird...and dog-like. Don't do it.