Oh. Hi.

I HAVE A WORKING COMPUTER AGAIN!!!!!! If I was a church hollerin' woman, I'd be shouting hallelujahs and amens to the skies. I did have a celebration of sorts, and some liquid may have fallen out of my eyeballs. When it's finals week and you have a billion things to accomplish in 5 days and you finally get a working computer, it's okay to cry. Totally okay. It's also okay to cry when you are eating FIERCE! hot tamales, and your mouth becomes a raging inferno. Or if you get burrs in your shirt, your pants, AND your underwear while you are exploring in the woods. (Word to the wise: DON'T let this happen to you.)

This week is going to be so awesome. I plan on looking like this allll week long:

I would like to apologize in advance to anyone who sits next to me during any one of my finals. I'm really not exaggerating about the stench. Washing my clothes isn't exactly on the top of my priorities list. So...erm...breathe through your mouth.

Gughgugugugughgu

I have so much to do today. Mostly schoolwork. But all I want to do is this:

I don't have my drawing stuff with me right now, but since you all expect pictures, I couldn't disappoint. Yay paint!

Sleepy time. The fact that it's raining outside doesn't help my sense of motivation or determination. I was going to write about a funny story that happened to me many moons ago......but thinking leads to this:

I'm probably going to take a nap now. One that I don't have time for. Yab.

Working Woes

(NOTE: I will not always have this many posts in such a short amount of time. My creativity usually comes in spurts. Right now it's on a big spurt. So...yeah. That sounds like an animal. A spurt.)

I work at a pastry shoppe, and for the most part, I really enjoy it. As far as jobs go, it's really not too bad: I am surrounded by delicious looking and tasting food, I get to work on homework or read or draw pictures when there isn't a customer, my boss is a pretty cool guy who makes me food and lets me eat cake batter, and the customers are usually pretty nice and happy--who wouldn't be with all those sweets around? 

There are, however, some things about my job that make me go a little crazy. 

When customers enter the shoppe, I greet them with a standard, friendly greeting:

Check it out: it's in COLOR!!!! Revolutionary, I know.

I get the usual responses-- "Good, how are you?" "I'm great now!" etc. Then comes the intense part of my job: waiting for them to make a decision, and preparing to answer all the questions they might have. Most people ask good, solid, sensible questions, such as, "What is this yellow thing?" "Is this a fudge brownie?" "Does this have nuts in it?" 

But every now and again, I get a question like this: "What's this raspberry tart thingie?"

Customer: "But what's in it?"

My most FAVORITE question EVER  goes something like this:

Customer: "Can you tell us what all of these pastries are?"

Me: "Well which ones are you looking at?"

Customer: "Oh, just run through all of them for me."

Sometimes, I get people who decide to shove a 10 lb wad of cotton in their mouth before they speak to me.

Who knew working at a pastry shoppe could be so dangerous?

The Waiting Girl

I made a gross error and forgot one of the key characters found in a YSA ward. Thank you to those who brought this to my attention.

I present to you: The Waiting Girl. This girl is off-limits because she is FAITHFULLY waiting for her missionary. Neither hail nor fiery bullets can tear her from her commitment to wait.....but she won't tell you this until you actually start dating her and have invested some time and money into the relationship. 

Single's Wards

There's really only one way to describe a young single adult ward:

Every week without fail, someone gives a plug for marriage. So if any one of the members is feeling depressed about being single, this will definitely help. I know that marriage is the next step for young single adults, but sometimes it feels as though being single isn't good enough; that you can't move on until you are married. I agree that marriage is good and worthwhile, etc., but being single doesn't mean you're a dud. If you happen to find that special someone, awesome. If you don't, awesome--you can still do amazing things and have a fulfilling life! Sometimes I feel like well-meaning leaders, in their quest to advocate marriage, turn into marriage zombies.

My favorite part about being in a single's ward is that no matter what ward you are in, you can always find the typical "single's ward" folks. You know who I'm talking about. 

First up: Recently Returned Missionary. These ones scare easily, always have the answers in sunday school, and they start most conversations with, "When I was on my mission....."

Next: Mr. Kewl. This guy is really too cool to be in a single's ward, but since there's no such thing as "The Ward for the Coolest Members of the Church," he has to settle for a YSA ward. 

Third: The Creeping Flirt. This is the guy who flirts with every female he lays eyes on. He'll corner you in the hall and find some way to show off his muscles. If you sit next to him in sunday school or sacrament meeting, he'll write suggestive notes to you on the program, and try to impress you with his deep understanding of the Gospel. He's kind of like a vulture, looking for fresh meat.

A favorite of every girl is The Desperate Seeker. You feel bad for him, until he asks you how many kids you want--right after he introduces himself to you. This guy's game plan is to ask everyone until he gets a yes. It's kind of sad, but after desperately seeking for an eternal companion for a few years, some guys become sort of creepy.....almost psychotic. 

Now for the girls. First up: Miss I Only Go To Church To Meet Boys. Church is obviously not their cup of tea, and they are fashionably late to every meeting. Please don't ask them a question in sunday school: they will look shocked, say they don't know, and then giggle for ten minutes to the boy sitting next to them. The halls of the church building act as a catwalk for these girls.

Finally, we have Cake Face. These girls are usually very sweet and friendly, but they have an unfortunate habit of plastering ten pounds of cakey makeup on their face every morning. It's best if you stay away from them during Fast Sunday--cake is very tempting to a growling stomach. Cake Face girl is also characterized by the classic "Utah Poof" --the only hair style that allows you to carry rats around on your head and makes you at least 1 foot taller.

Everyone else is usually pretty normal, and if you ignore the ridiculousness that is an LDS single's ward, church is quite enjoyable. UNLESS YOUR WARD'S "LINGER LONGERS" CONSIST OF DRY PIECES OF BREAD.....EVERY TIME, EVEN ON FAMILY DAY. COME ON. COME ON!!! Even Ramen would be better.

Illustrations

[NOTE: I read this blog every now and again that makes me laugh until I wet my pants. The author is an illustrator, so she has pictures to go along with her hilarious thoughts and experiences. (This is one of my very favorite posts on her blog: http://www.verbal-vomit.com/2012/02/game-has-spoken.html) This blog has inspired me to draw illustrations to go along with my posts. I feel kind of like a cheap second-hander....but imitation is the highest form of flattery, or so I'm told. I like to doodle, so I figure I'll put some of those doodles to use instead of keeping them locked up in my notebooks. My drawings aren't fancy or even colorful--they are drawn on lined paper that I should be taking notes on. But I have fun drawing them, and hopefully they can add a little bit of life to my average, normal posts about an average, normal life.]

Lately I've been having a hard time concentrating while at school. (Okay, not just lately. This whole semester.) I go to class with good intentions, but like most college students, I usually end up in a half-way state of mind, trying to stay awake and pay attention while my brain is shutting down. Most of the time, I look like this:

That stuff coming out of my mouth is drool, not leftover breakfast. Although, I wouldn't be surprised to see some waffle fragments tumble out of my mouth and land on my desk in the middle of a yawn. Most of the time, I can get my mental faculties to work long enough to study for and take a test, or to do an assignment. I've always been pretty good at scraping together enough knowledge the night before a test to pass said test.

Last week I had 1 test, and this week I had 3 tests. Unfortunately, I only remembered one of them. So, instead of cramming all through the night and into the wee hours of the morning just to get a 76% on one test, I did the only other respectable thing: I walked into my classroom, head held high, snatched up a test, and proceeded to make things up. It would have been so easy if it was a scantron test, but unfortunately, it was an essay test. 4 short answers, and 4 long answers in 50 minutes. Sociology 3110. I knew most of the short answers, and one of the long answers. But when it came time to answer 3 more long answer questions, I realized that I had nothing--I couldn't make stuff up because I didn't even know what the question was talking about. Right then I had one of these moments:

But then I realized that if I didn't pass sociology, all would not be lost. I wish I could have taken a picture of my test to post on here, but I would have been thoroughly whipped if I took out my phone to take a picture. So. This is what I wrote:

"Honestly, I have never been less prepared for a test, and I realize that I probably won't pass this one. However, since this will be my first failed test in my entire educational career, I'd like to fail in style. And so, in an effort to be stylish, and not wanting to completely waste your time, I hope you will enjoy the following illustrations."
I then proceeded to draw some pictures, including a crazy monkey, a man with a mustache, a banana phone, and a piece of bacon that looked like a disease. I think it was A+ work.

On another note, I GET MY BRACES OFF IN A MONTH OR LESS!!!!!!! If you can't tell, I'm thoroughly excited about this. Having braces is quite the experience. I'm grateful that I have them, because I'm excited to have straight teeth and a bite that actually bites. But when you are 21, single, and in college, sometimes having braces feels a bit like this:

You go to talk to someone, and the instant you open your mouth, those metal fiends open their big mouths and yell and shout, covering up everything you are saying, making you look 5 years younger, and 5 times more foolish if there is food stuck in them. Oh, and let's not forget this little dilemma: Braces + kissing =

Not that I would kiss this guy anyway. It looks like he invested in a bad wig.

Anyway, I'm super stoked to be getting these metal babies removed. I'm so glad I didn't have to have them for more than 2 years--but I am glad that I will have straight teeth.