A Leap into the Dark

Two posts in one day. Don't get used to it.

I've been working at REI for almost three years. I've learned some awesome things, had lots of fun, met some amazing people, found my honey, and landed some sweet deals. Lately, however, work has been frustrating and anxiety-producing. I've been searching for a new job for months, feeling that my time at REI has long been over. My search has proved fruitless, however, and I have been growing increasingly frustrated and confused. I felt that it was time to quit REI. I knew that Heavenly Father was telling me it was time to move on. But I couldn't find anything to move on to. 

I was searching through jobs from 7 different job sites nearly every day. I applied to many, and got nothing in return. A couple days ago, I had a panic attack while at work. I used to get panic attacks a lot as a kid, but they come few and far between now. So it was surprising to me that I had one, especially since I know everyone at work, have been there a zillion times, and am comfortable with what I do there. 

Long story short, that same night I wrote up my two weeks notice. I turned it in yesterday, and now have only a few days left (well, it's a little more than a few days) at REI. 

Great news, right? Yes! Except for one little thing: I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER JOB LINED UP. At least, not the typical, go to work, get paid, come home job. The reason I haven't quit before now is because I didn't have another job to go to. I've been taught that you don't quit your current job until you find a new one. It makes total sense. I didn't want to be without a job. I have bills to pay, and the thought of not being able to pay them gives me mega anxiety. 

That's why I was so surprised when I felt good about quitting. Everything pointed to leaving REI and instead working on my art. Yep, that's my income plan: art. As you can see, it's very detailed and specific. Airtight. A dependable income. .....   ................

Quite frankly, I'm a little terrified. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've been doing research and learning all that I can about making a profit through art, but I'm still so brand new to all of this. Self-employed at 25, with only a meager associates degree and no real business know-how? Sounds NUTS! It IS nuts! 

My immediate future is pretty dark. I don't know how all of this will happen. But I do know that it's time for me to take a step, or in this case, a leap, into the unknown, and let God lead me. This whole faith thing is terrifying. I hate not having a set plan. But I feel that Heavenly Father has led me to this decision. And I'm doing my best to follow His plan for me. 

So, if any of y'all need art of any kind, I'm happy to help! Actually, I'm desperate. DESPERATE TO HELP! I still have a lot of things to work out, and my planning has actually been going pretty well. But heaven knows I need all the help I can get. I'm in the process of creating a website, so I'll post that on here for the two people that read this when it's finished. 

I'll most likely become a shut-in with this business venture of mine. Translucent skin, permanent paint stains, no social manners to speak of, etc. It's coming. And I'm not one bit mad. 

A Leap into the Light

This past Wednesday was crazy. 

I woke up to a text from my brother-in-law, saying his cute little family was stranded in Beaver. Their "new" car broke down on the way home from California, and they had had an awful night of cold, so many car problems, and a janky hotel.  My parents and I scrambled to find a way to help them, finally landing upon my brother, who was able to take work off and drive down to rescue them. 

MEANWHILE..... I dropped my Mom off at work, then drove to Bountiful to take care of my sister's dog and tidy up a bit. From there, I drove to Farmington to pick up something from the alteration lady. I flew home, showered, drove to my Mom's work to pick her up, flew back home, got dressed and ready, and then my Mom and I headed back to Bountiful.

All this crazy stuff happened on the day that I was going to the temple, to receive my endowments. Ha, it was the craziest of days! But once we were at the temple, after my nerves had settled, I found so much peace and calm. My brother made it back from Beaver in time to attend, along with other members of my family. 

I never planned on going through the temple until I was about to be married. I remember, when I was younger, thinking that I would never go through the temple before marriage, because I wanted to wait as long as I possibly could before I had to wear the restricting garments. 

Oh how misguided and wrong I was. 

The temple was beautiful. It was peace, it was light, it was a bit confusing, it was beautiful. I still didn't feel like I was 100% ready to go through the temple. And I still kind of feel that way. But I don't think I will ever feel 100% ready. Do we ever feel completely ready for the things life throws at us? We have to be willing to try, and to progress, even though we may feel inadequate.

And can I just say, I LOVE wearing garments!!!!! I love them for so many reasons, one of which being that they are actually quite comfy. 

One of my sweet sisters sent me a book (and lots of candy which I consumed in a matter of days) by Wendy Watson Nelson called Covenant Keepers. It talks about covenants and the power they can have in our lives. One of my favorite quotes says,

"Making covenants with God calls forth the divine within us. Keeping our covenants with God allows Him to pour His divine power into us." 

What a beautiful thing to consider. We all have divine within ourselves, and that divinity can be magnified through God as we keep our covenants. And I'm not just talking about temple covenants. We all made covenants at baptism, and we make promises when we take the Sacrament. We can have that divine power within us at all times! 

Going through the temple was what I needed. But I still have so, so, SO much to work on and improve upon. (Number one probably being my candy consumption....) This Gospel truly is a Gospel of light and joy. Heavenly Father has provided a clear way back to Him. I believe that He misses us, and is eagerly awaiting our return. Mistakes happen to us all. We take one step forward and two steps back. But there is ALWAYS a return path, always someone who is waiting to help us back. And I am indeed grateful for that.