Just when you thought I couldn't get weirder.....

 

Here is a close-up of my shaved head. I'll put more pictures up later. This is the only good picture I have at the moment, so.....yep.

Hello, my name is Shawrn Gaberdeen.

Today is my day off, so even though I posted something last night, I'm going to do it again. Right now. Because I can, and I want to. Okay.
I was digging around in my boxed up stuff the other day when I came across a list I made a little while ago during some boring college class. It's a list of things about me that most people don't know. I found it entertaining.

1. I would rather read a good book than go to sleep. I love to read.
2. I had an awesome snaggle-tooth. But it's gone now--braces claimed ol' snaggle for themselves.
3. I sleep with my baby blanket, silky, every night. There is absolutely no shame in this.
4. I don't always shave, which often leads to hairy situations...
5. I love a new notebook, or fresh, clean paper. Give me a pen and a blank sheet of paper, and I'll be happy for quite some time.
6. I like writing lists, but just for the fun of writing them. I don't always get those things done. In fact, I often write a list and then never look at it again.
7. Everyone thinks I look younger than I really am. At work the other day some woman asked me if my mother approved of me working alone at night. I was tempted to start crying and babble on about child labor, but that probably wouldn't have ended well...
8. I can't function without a bedroom lamp.
9. Camping, or being outside = best idea ever.
10. I make my own shoes, and re-cover old ones. But of course I also buy shoes. A lot of them.
11. I think eye patches make people instantly tough.
12. Cruise ship = worst idea ever.
13. "Goober" is for fools too lazy to get out 2 separate jars of condiments.
14. I love Harry Potter. Sometimes I have wizard duels. My brother even made me a wand, and I must say, it looks incredibly real. Because it is. I do magic, obviously.
15. Some of my favorite smells are fresh paint, homemade bread fresh from the oven, new clothes, and right before and after it rains.
16. 4-wheeling is top notch.
17. Okay, this one wasn't on the list, and it has nothing to do with things people don't know about me, but I was just reminded of it, and it must be shared. One time, I was walking home from class, and my shirt felt all torked. I was wearing a heavy jacket (it's Logan, people.), so I couldn't exactly tell what was going on with my shirt, but I couldn't fix it until I got home. But man, it felt so strange! Almost like my undershirt had become all bunched up around my belly button. Whelp, I got home, took off my jacket, and found that my bra had come undone, and was just chillin there at my belly button. EHH?? How on earth did that even happen? I wonder how long it had been undone. All I can say is, it's a dang good thing that A) I had multiple layers on so nothing was noticeable, and B) I'm so tiny up top that it wouldn't have mattered if I had multiple layers on or not - you still wouldn't have noticed.
18.When it's really windy, I take a plastic bag outside, release it, and then chase it all around.
19. I will never name my child Bumlock. EVER.
20. One of my greatest wishes is to go to Africa and work with AIDS orphans.
21. Instead of sucking my thumb when I was a baby, I sucked my tongue. And yes, I still do it.
22. Fruit juice is my fix.
23. I still play lava monster.
24. After I wash my clothes, it takes me forever to put them away. Sometimes they just sit in the basket until they need to be washed again. Yes Mom, you taught me better than that.
25. I would rather be with my family than with anyone else in the whole world.

So, now you know a little more about the girl who was christened Shawrn Gaberdeen during a most excellent camping trip - whether you wanted to know more or not.

It Done Been Shaved.

I am seriously the strangest person. I just shaved the side of my head. Okay, it's not the entire side-it's just a small section behind and above my ear. Shaved.
I've always wanted to shave one entire side of my head. Either that or get dreadlocks. It was taking way too long to grow my hair out, so I opted for the choice that would give me instant satisfaction. And may I just say, I LOVE IT! Drink it up, world! I look awesome! My mom, sisters, cousin, and that random guy I saw outside my apartment would disagree. But hecks, I'm just following Emerson's advice! Imitation is suicide, trust thyself, etc. I've always wanted to do this, and I finally screwed up the courage to do it. Hooray for being young, single, and crazy! Hooray for living awake!
I whill post pictures of my bald baby head as soon as I take some, I suppose. It's so fun--like an instant surprise party on the side of my head. Oh, there's a girl with a normal head and-WABAAM! There ain't no hair there! Awesome.
And to all those who mock me, may I just say: there are worse things I could have done to my hair. Let me give you a few examples:

This hairstyle has every bad hair trend combined into one amazing look.

This needs no explanation other than: Best. School. Picture. Ever.

Electric chair, anyone?

THE ULTIMATE MULLET! And yes, this is a woman.

.......there are no words.

Rug, anyone?

Wind Cave-in

I love Cache Valley in the Fall. The mountains look as though someone splashed vibrant, intensely colored paint all over them. The air is so crisp and clear-it makes me feel like my senses are more keen, that I am more aware of the world around me. I wish that Fall lasted longer, but since it doesn't, I'll just enjoy this amazing season while I can.
I've always wanted to be able to capture the beauty of Fall with paint, but I've never done landscapes before, and I was nervous to try. My friend had a birthday a few days ago, and I wanted to do a painting for him. I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to try a landscape painting, since he loves the mountains and nature and all that good stuff. I painted a picture of the Wind Caves in Fall, and I must say that it turned out better than I thought it would. I still have a long way to go with landscape paintings, especially with developing my own style. I want to be able to portray nature in a way that sets it apart, instead of just having a painting that says, "Oh, look at me, I'm a nice generic landscape. Now forget me." Anyway, here is the painting, from the beginning stages to the finished product.

This is the wash coat. What amazes me is that the wash coat always looks.....not good.

I make a mess. Oil paints are very messy.

Primary coat!

Almost finished! Sorry about the flash....

Finished!!

I had about a week to do this painting before my friend's birthday, and I think I finished it in 4 or 5 days. What I love about painting is that it allows me to completely escape from anything and everything. When I'm painting, all I'm focused on is the simple joy of creating. I love getting lost in my oil paints!

Bernice's Petals

I finally finished my experimental painting that I've been working on for about a month and a half. There are still a lot of improvements that could be made, but I had to call it done so that I could work on other paintings. It was really fun to do, because for the first time I didn't have to worry about anyone grading it or judging it. It was art for the sake of art--and I loved it! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it now though. I suppose I could hang it up, but I feel weird about hanging up my own art in my own house. I have one hanging up in my room, but that's because I needed something on my wall, and I needed a space to store my painting.
Anyway, I documented my process for this painting so you could see how this particular piece came to be. This process is actually very different from my usual paintings, as I was doing mixed media and masonite instead of canvas. Enjoy!

This is how all my art projects start: almost undecipherable scribbles in a sketch book. My ideas are constantly changing, and I have to write them down fast or else I will forget them.

This is the first rendering I did. I like to have an idea of what the final product is going to look like, but usually once I start painting, I just fly by the seat of my pants. My first renderings rarely end up looking like the final piece.

This was my first idea, but I scrapped the Iris and chose the Protea instead, because I liked the shape of the petals.

 The second stage is the drawing/tracing stage. My door/window isn't exactly ideal for tracing, but when you're stuck at your apartment, you take what you can get! After I drew it, I did a charcoal transfer onto my gessoed panel. Then I went over the charcoal with black acrylic paint.

I get pretty messy when I do my art projects. I think I've had all my art stuff on the table for 2 months. Good thing my roommates don't ever eat at the table! It's also a good thing that we have this fake tile stuff in our kitchen, because it is now covered in paint.

I have to step back and analyze my pieces every now and then. (I also have to eat cake and drink Lactaid without a glass.) It's really quite incredible how effective stepping back can be.

 I wanted to do a kewl paint splashing on the petals, so I taped up all the black outlines, and any white space I didn't want covered in paint. It took FOREVER!! I'm almost positive there was an easier way to do this, but I have more masking tape than an office supply store, so I figured, why not use it?

Paint splashing time! This is green acrylic paint that I watered down. It didn't quite splash the way I wanted it to, and most of the paint got on me, the railing, the cement, and the door handle.

While my green paint was drying, I started experimenting with ink transfers. We didn't have newsprint, so I used phone books! It took a few tries to figure out the best way to do the transfers, but once I got it figured out I went crazy with it.

I didn't like the green paint, so I went back and covered it all up with white acrylic. Guhhh!! All that taping, for nothing? The color on the leaves is just colorful ink transfers from phone book ads. They turned out pretty sweet!

This is how I look after a long night of painting. Awesome, I know.

Mostly I added this picture because my hair looks awesome. Heh.

Check out this huge brush I got! It was a LIFESAVER! 

 After finishing the ink transfers, I decided to add some color to my pale little flower. I used oils for this part, because I can manipulate them a lot easier than acrylics, and their color is more vibrant.

Finished!!! I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. It's nothing super fancy, but it was super fun to do!

The power of you

 I love to read. I have no specific genre preference, but I do demand satisfaction from the books I read. Sometimes I find a lot of satisfaction, and sometimes I find....none. I just finished a book that has greatly affected me in a positive way, and has made me more aware of the power of an individual's mind and spirit. The book was written by an agnostic philosopher, but a lot of her ideas go hand in hand with the Gospel. 

I've been in a strange funk for about a week, feeling nothing spiritual, no creative urge, no passion for much of anything. But something clicked in my brain a few days ago, and now I am filled with a sense of empowerment, of determination, and of God's love for me. 

God created everyone individually. Just as Christ did not suffer for us as a mass, Heavenly Father did not create everyone all at once, without regard to individual attributes or personalities. We were given the ability to think and act for ourselves, and not for anyone else. Each spirit son and daughter sent to this Earth has a specific mission to accomplish that is uniquely tailored to their own personal strengths and weaknesses. God deals with us individually, through personal prayer, personal scripture study, personal fasts, and personalized patriarchal blessings. Jesus Christ suffered and died for every person individually, and we repent by way of an intimate, personal experience with our Savior's sacrifice. 

It is obvious to me that the individual holds great importance in God's plan. He has endowed us with the incredible ability to reason, create, and act according to our own desires and beliefs. The individual has incredible power when paired with the strength of the Lord! You have so much potential! There is nothing you cannot achieve, nothing you cannot pursue. It is frustrating to see people doubt their own ability for greatness, or to see someone turn to others to determine their own course of action. People get so upset when confronted about losing their "freedoms,"and yet they willingly give away their freedom when they depend on the world to tell them how to think, how to act, and what to believe about themselves. I wonder how it makes Heavenly Father feel, to give someone the power to do and think and create of their own accord, and then to see them place that power in the hands of the majority, to allow the world to dictate their thoughts and actions. 

The book I read defines these people as "second-handers." It states that a man survives by the "independent work of his own mind or as a parasite fed by the minds of others. The creator originates. The (second-hander, or parasite) borrows. The creator faces nature alone (here I would add that the creator faces nature with God). The parasite faces nature through an intermediary.....The parasite lives second-hand. He needs others."

Sometimes I just want to shout, "Believe in yourself! Stick up for your beliefs! Don't be afraid of swimming against the current, don't be afraid of your own greatness! If your belief and conviction takes you away from what is "popular," than so be it! Don't give in!" President Hinckley said it best: "Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity to do great and good things. Believe that no mountain is so high that you cannot climb it. Believe that no storm is so great that you cannot weather it. You are not destined to be a scrub (or a second-hander). You are a child of God, of infinite capacity."

Pres. Uchtdorf gave a talk in October 2008 about creation; how it is a gift that everyone possesses and how we were created with the purpose of experiencing a fullness of joy. I put my favorite quotes in bold.

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.

But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf,  October 2008 Address

 Ralph Waldo Emerson was big on self-reliance, and he has some awesome quotes that I really like.

Insist on yourself; never imitate... Every great man is unique.

              Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. 

              Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

              Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. 

              Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance 

In every work of genius we see our own rejected thoughts.
              Ralph Waldo Emerson

I realize that this post is rather long, and contains a lot of thoughts and ideas from many different sources. But since I have felt this renewed sense of God's love for me, and now that I truly believe it, I feel very strongly about believing in yourself, and using the strength of the Lord and the knowledge of his love for you to accomplish great and amazing things. I want everyone to realize how amazing they are, and that they can achieve greatness, no matter how big or small it may seem to the world.  

I know that this feeling of belief and empowerment will come and go. There will be hard days, moments of doubt, times of fear. But once you have this confidence and belief inside of you, and if you are on the Lord's side, you will be able to get past those hard days, those moments of doubt, and those times of fear. God loves YOU individually, and you can achieve greatness! 
You were not born to be a second-hander!