Just Today

Today I'm thinking about how scarred up my face is going to be after all my skin has peeled off. Sunburns. My legs are skin taffy. (That sentence is not a loose translation, kids. We're talking LITERAL.)

I just really love vacuums. Months of a broken vacuum, and your carpet begins to exhibit the characteristics of a ferocious animal -- fangs, whiskers, and all. Four girls and no vacuum = a hair blanket that could cover five Papa Bear beds. But it ain't no thang.

I'm thinkin' Cheetos: baked cheesy snack, or a cheese parasite that sticks to everything and sucks away your life forces? Either way. YUM.

I probably shouldn't be trusted with anything sharp, because I cut my baby legs like a cheese grater last night whilst using a new razor. It's just a skill of mine. Thankfully I scar easily, so my slip-ups can be seen by all. Stop loving me for my scarred skin, every boy. I have so much more to offer. Just check out my knobbly knees and my multitude of hangnails. BAM.

I think dinner tonight should be marshmallows and hot fudge. And for dessert: week-old mac and cheese. Party at my house, y'all.

Also: I don't think I should use the word "y'all." It makes me sound pretentious. More pretentious stuff:  

-"I just got my first check from my Pokemon breeding business. I have money, ergo, I will pay for dinner."

-"Is everyone wearing at least SOMETHING vintage?"

-"He’s monolingual……….. not sure I can ever seriously date someone monolingual." 
-Hyphenated last names, such as: Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre (Double the hyphen, double the fun!)
-"I hate people who talk about internet memes not even realising there’s a proper French pronunciation."
-"The menu is in Comic Sans. Let’s leave."
-"I haven't instagrammed in like...three days."
-"I don't believe in defining music by genre."
-"My favorite thing to read? French existentialism."

Looks like I've been on the interwebs too long. I'm hungies. Stomach, make me a sammich.

I just remembered that Costa Vida skimped out on my lettuce the last time I got a burrito. I'd hate to be the person who ordered a lettuce wrap. Woopies, forgot the lettuce! Looks like you'll have to wrap this mess of beans and rice in your shirt. Don't forget to leave a tip, now, y'hear?

So. Tuesday. Have a good one.

xoxo, Saralyn