The Life of an Adult

I'm 22, and I'm an adult. 

I live at my parent's house.

I don't have a job.

I have seventeen cents in my checking account.

I do not own a car.

I do not have a college degree. I'm not even going to school.

I stay at home on weekend nights....and every other night of the week.

I have the skin of a hormonal 15 year old girl.

I'm living the dream.

Admittedly, this was not what I had planned. When I was in junior high, I thought I would be married at 19. When I graduated from high school, I thought I would have a college degree within 3 years. When I went off to college, I thought I would finally have a social life. All of the sudden I was 22, and my life was nowhere near what I thought it would be. 

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said that I was lucky, because I had a million choices ahead of me. I'm not tied down by a relationship, a job, a degree, etc. I can do anything I want. This is true...to an extent. I have no money, so I can't get a car or go back to school. Without a car, it's hard to go out and search for jobs, and without a job, I have no money, so I can't get a car or go back to school.....it's a circle of love. 

I'm trying to stay positive and remember that the Lord has something planned for me. But I can't help thinking that maybe somewhere along the line I wimped out. Like with wilderness training--maybe I just gave up when I could have had a really awesome job. Maybe I chose to take the easy way out. Or with school--maybe I just stopped going because I became lazy and impatient. 

I know that thinking like that is pointless, as it doesn't help anything. I try really hard not to bemoan the past, and I try to stay positive about the future and believe that all along the way, I have been making good decisions. 

But I'm human. There are times that I get frustrated, because I feel that my life is headed nowhere. There are times that I get caught up in the lives of others, and wonder when it will be my time to travel, get married, have kids, get a degree, or have a successful job. I wonder why it's so hard for me to find a job when everyone else seems to be handed great jobs. I wonder why, at 22, I still have the acne of a teenager when everyone else seems to have beautiful, clear skin. I wonder why my art isn't where I want it to be, why I can't backpack and hike like I love to, and why I have no social life to speak of.

These are the times when I really have to focus on the good things that have happened and are happening in my life. I have to remember that God has a specific plan for me, and that I need to be patient. I have to be happy with where I'm at right now, instead of waiting for some future happiness. Some days are better than others. But I know that God is watching out for me and leading me forward, even though at times it seems like I've been left behind. 

When life puts you in a rut, remember that this is but a small moment. Good things are yet to come. I have found so much strength and comfort from the words of a hymn:

"Fear not, I am with thee;

Oh be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. 

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."

#85, How Firm A Foundation

xoxo, Saralyn