FACT: Facebook ruins more lives every day than bulldozers, angry monkeys, and televangelists combined.
Scenario: You wake up to a beautiful morning. The sun is shining, the smell of bacon is in the air, and you feel fantastic.
That one simple decision to check Facebook right after you wake up will be your downfall.
As you are checking Facebook, you think of a clever status to post. After a few hours, you get back on Facebook, looking forward to the thousands of "likes" your clever post must certainly have.
Depression sets in. You begin to question your own cleverness, and your "like-ability." The world turns bleak and dreary. After hiding in a dark closet for a few years, you decide to try cheering yourself up by looking at inspirational quotes that people have posted.
THE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES STRIKE AGAIN!! At this point, you are almost hopeless. The ray of joy that accompanied the beginning of your day is beginning to fade. Desperately seeking some form of comfort, you click on your photos, certain that seeing a good picture of yourself doing fun things with people you don't really care about will lift your spirits.
Unfortunately, your "friend" posted a few pictures from the recent sleepover you had. She caught you at a rather unfortunate moment...
That little ray of light you started the day with is instantly squashed by a giant black bear wearing a black cloak and breathing horrible black fire, skating on black ice. Life as you know it is over. The walls begin to close in around you, and mocking laughter seems to be emanating from every crevice, nook, and cranny of your house. The Facebook Depression completely takes you over, and you seek solace in the arms of a childhood blanket, which you find to be infested with cockroaches.
Hide in your closet of shame, little person! The Facebook world has deemed you unworthy!
That last line is the best :)
ReplyDeleteOh....technically, second-to-last, I guess.
ReplyDelete