Babies everywhere!

I had a dream last night that I had a baby girl. It felt so real. When I woke up, I felt like I was missing something. Then I realized that I was missing the baby I never had. It was only a dream, but it got me thinking: I could be a mother in just a few short years. (Of course, I have to get married first....and getting married implies dating someone....and that's...complicated.)
Thinking of being a mom used to scare me a little. I've seen the impact of wise, loving parents vs. selfish, neglectful parents on their children. It's HUGE! I was scared that I wouldn't be a very good mom, and that I would ruin a generation of great potential. It's a lot of pressure! And what if you try your hardest, but your children still turn out to be the biggest stinkers (literally and figuratively) the world has ever seen? That would make me feel horrible, like a failure.
So I've been thinking about all this today--about being a mom. And I realized that I'm not scared anymore, and there's a few reasons why.
First off, I've got a while before I become a watermelon carrier. As mentioned before, I have to get married first-and as far as I can tell, I'm not engaged. (Thank goodness. My shaved head needs time to grow before I participate in any wedding fototos. Although, now that I think about it, my shaved head wouldn't look too bad shrouded in white. Hmm....)
Second, if my Mom, grandmas, sisters, cousins, and aunts are any indication, one does not have to be perfect to be a good mother. (Although it sure would be nice.) When I was in kindergarten, I would come home from school and my mom would often be taking a nap. She was taking care of my two little brothers, and naptime came just as I got out of school. She's told me a few times that she feels bad for not really playing with me or spending a lot of time with me when I was in kindergarten, but here's what I remember about that time of my life: I remember coming home from school and cuddling up next to my mom on her bed or mine. Sometimes I would sleep, but a lot of times I would just lay there wide awake, content to have time alone with my mom, all snuggled up next to her. With 6 crazy kids in one house, it wasn't very often that I got alone time with mom. I do remember playing checkers with her a few times, and I did watch tv by myself while she slept some days, but I mostly remember those naps with mom, and I loved them. So mom, you weren't perfect-but look how good I turned out!

Growing up as the youngest girl, I can say that my older sisters who have kids of their own right now are definitely not perfect. My oldest sister and I almost killed each other multiple times. But I felt justified for fighting with her: she kept stealing my silky blanket! What kind of a person takes another person's blanky that they rub on their naked bum before baths? (I think if she knew I did that, she might have thought twice before even touching that thing. heheh.) She wasn't a perfect sister, and she isn't a perfect mother, but perfect people are boring. And watching her with her darling son, I'm convinced that she doesn't need to be perfect, because she is such a good mom. I hope that I can be as patient with my children as she is with little Zachie.
My other sister lives here in Logan, so I get to visit her at her house a lot. Sure, her dishes aren't always done, the house has Lia's toys and clothes all over, and maybe she hasn't done all the things she wanted to that day--but she always takes care of the most important things first: her husband, and her sweet baby girl. She's very good at teaching Lia, and it's so fun to watch her play with that little girl. My sister's not a perfect wife or mother, but it's apparent once again that you don't have to be perfect to be a good mom.
Another thing I realized is that if Heavenly Father trusts imperfect men and women to raise His children on this earth, then I should trust myself as well. He knows what He's doing, and He knows what I can do. I was sent here to learn and grow, yes, but I was also sent here to be a mother in Zion. And honestly, I can't wait! I'm so excited to get married, have a house of my own, and raise cute little bunions. (In my brother's terms, a bunion is a small child.) It's still intimidating to think about, but I'm up to the challenge, whenever it may come.
As I was thinking about future chilluns and blog stalking, I ran across some beautiful pictures of a new little baby being born. The pictures seem to highlight the parents more than the baby, which is different, but I really like the emotions portrayed in these pictures. Go on and look at them, and you'll see what I mean. (These pictures are from Nickell Photography. Her blog link is here.)

I think those are beautiful. Yeah, I'm a girl. So what.

Oh, I also wanted to include a picture of my future child. If I have a child that looks like this, my life will be complete. So complete.

.....or this.

It might seem kind of strange that I just wrote a whole post about babies. Well it is. A little bit it is. But it's my brain's fault for sending me a dream about having a baby. Incidentally, I do believe I gave birth on the couch I am currently sitting on. Geeugghhhh....