The bus. Awkward incarnate.

I spend quite a bit of time on the bus. And I've made a few observations.
1. While waiting at the bus stop, your main objective should be to make everyone around you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Display your own awkwardness by looking down at the ground. Pretend to be supremely interested in that dry patch of grass or that clump of snow. But for heaven's sake, don't look at anyone else. Don't talk. Texting is acceptable, as is checking the time every 30 seconds.
2. When the bus arrives, RUSH ON! Pushing is encouraged. After all, you don't want to get stuck sitting next to the old man who forces you to make conversation.
3. Acceptable bus-riding activities: Reading. (Make sure the book you are reading is completely obscure, and full of philosophical jargon.) Listening to your ipod. This discourages any form of social interaction, should someone be ignorant enough to try to engage in intellectual conversation. (In this instance, you must have your musical device turned up as loud as it can go. Ideally, your music should be of the punk rock genre. Remember: you are too cool to make conversation with anyone.) Another acceptable and popular activity is staring listlessly out the window. Drooling may accompany this activity.
4. Whenever anyone boards the bus, be sure to stare them down like a dingo stares down a child baby. If they look as if they are about to sit down next to you, quickly assume the defensive position. (Backpack placed in front of you as a shield, teeth bared, feet poised to kick. For guaranteed effectiveness, hiss and make unintelligible guttural noises.)    
That about sums it up. Public transportation: awkwardness at its very finest.