Speed Bumps

I am not a fan of speed bumps. Who likes to have all of your insides vaulted up into your brain every time you drive across a parking lot? Who wants to slow down when you're cruisin' around, looking like a neat hipster? It's worse when you can't even get your car over the bump, and it rolls backwards. I actually saw that happen the other day. It was incredible. I was enjoying a fiesta-spicy meal at Costa Vida, and out of the window I observed a woman drive slowly up to a speed bump. Her car tires peaked just at the top of the speed bump--and then her car rolled backwards. The small incline was just too much for her and her delightful Cadillac. It was unfortunate for others that I happened to observe this, because it made me spew rice and beans all over my fellow partakers of cultural food.

Today was a speed bump in my life, and it's been a little rough. I had a ridiculously impossible time waking up for work this morning. The pathetic thing is that I don't go in to work on Wednesdays until 11:45. I can usually wake up just fine, but lately I've been feeling like someone put 200 lb weights in my body, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get up when I need to. I blame garden gnomes.


I finally woke up to a text from my boss, who was ticked because it was already 12:00. I yelped (quite literally) and scrambled to get some form of clothing onto my body. Right then, I received a text from one of my best friends, who shared with me the worst possible kind of news. I sort of went into shock, but I didn't have time to think about anything because I was rushing out the door, trying desperately to get to work before my boss decided to shoot me. While driving to work, the news of the morning hit me like a wrecking ball, and those stinky tear ducts went into overdrive. I arrived at work in tears, without any makeup on, sporting a hair style fit for a rodent convention. I got in trouble for being late, and then I got jalapeno juice in my eye, creating a beautiful red mass where my eye used to reside. I can only imagine what today's customers experienced upon feasting their eyes on my lovely visage.

Life really is so crazy sometimes. It's smooth and easy, and in one sudden moment everything can change. That's one of the reasons I'm so grateful for the Gospel. It's the seat belt that keeps me in place when I go over crazy speed bumps. I know that I'll have many more speed bumps in this life, but I also know that no matter what, I'll have help getting over them. If I trust in God, and put my faith in Jesus Christ, I won't ever roll backwards, unable to get over bumps in the road. (I'd like to thank the woman outside of Costa Vida who couldn't make it over a speed bump. Without her, this metaphor would never be possible.)